Dear Jona…

I really love you with all my heart. Hearing you say all this means more to me than you know. Knowing that you love me unconditionally…knowing that you’ll always wait for me no matter how long it takes (hopefully in a span of months & not years LOL)…knowing that you & i have an amazing future together…this is the reality i’ve only imagined in my dreams…& now that it’s all coming true, I feel so blessed & I’m never gonna let this go…I’m never letting you go…& will always wait for you & leave my heart with you because we both know that we’ve found each other & will grow old together. We know it.

 Alam mo kabet, tulad mo, sa buong buhay ko, never ako naging ganito. Never ako naging in love. I never understood what that phrase really really meant. To dedicate your every waking hour with that person, near OR far…to constantly think of that person throughout the day…getting excited when hearing their voice…lahat yun I never understood. Hanggang ikaw. Until you came into my life. Ngayon, alam ko yung feeling. I understand now.  Napakahyperactive ako kasi over the roof in love ako sayo. Di lang ober da roof, kundi ober da buildings, ober da clouds, in da sky LOL…as high as you can possible go. Seeing you everynight…yung ngiti mo…yung cheeks mo…yung beautiful eyes mo…lahat sayo…makes me so thankful that you’re mine. Napakaswerte ako! Ang ganda naman ang gurlpren ko :) Amazing, phenomenal, gorgeous, extraordinary, life changing….lahat.  I’ve prayed forever to God asking Him to bring me the woman of my dreams. The woman I want to spend forever & more with. Alam na si God how many times within all the years I’ve prayed for that. Ngayon, I’m extra thankful kasi He made my dream come true. Binigay si God sa’kin ang gift ko…ang soulmate ko…ang bestfriend ko habang buhay hanggang matanda na tayo.  Alam ko na you love me unconditionally din. Alam na alam ko. Ako lang, you know napakaexpressive lang ako. Alam ko over ako minsan…pero sa akin lang, it’s a feeling na you & I have been patiently waiting for 20 & 21 years…& now that it’s all happening, di ko pwede i-contain. Kaya napakahyperactive ang boypren mo LOL. I want the world to know. I want the world to see kung bakit super elated ako. Dahil sayo. Dahil sa’tin. Dahil sa future & promises natin.  I know you’ll keep every single promise…& I want you to know I’ll keep mine. That we will be closer in distance…that we will never get tired of saying how much we love each other…that we will never give up on each other…that we will always wait for each other & will dedicate everything for each other…I know every single promise we’ve made for each other will be kept & cherished & preserved. Because whether I’m there or if you’re here (ask tita to bring you to san francisco! pleaaaase LOLLL), we’ll be with each other soon enough…no matter what. It WILL happen. It will. And knowing that we’ll be waiting for each other…& that we won’t stop loving each other…is comforting, encouraging, & empowering. Because like you…I want it to just be with you & only you. Alam ko sinabi mo na. And I’m so glad. Na ikaw rin…you can see yourself marrying me someday & having an amazing family together when we’re ready & when everything works out (distance, family, lahat). That makes my heart jump for joy…kasi like you, dinedicate na ang buong sarili ko sayo…ikaw lang…kasi ikaw ang gusto ko maging kasama buong buhay ko.  I love you & will never stop loving you…every inch of you from your beautiful hair, to your face, to your hands, to your feet & toes (LOL)…lahat. I love your voice & hearing you laugh kahit napakabaduy ang boypren mo si kiko LOL….kahit alam ko baduy ang humor ko, gagawin ko pa kasi i want to hear you laugh.  The feeling of finally letting go of my insecurities & being open & honest with you about all my feelings is so relieving & refreshing…kasi alam ko na I can be me. Na tinanggap mo ako bilang kiko. Korning korni kiko :) My love for you is unconditional…it’s endless…
I’m holding on to you jona. I always will. And i know you are too. I can feel you. I’m secure with you. Alam na natin na everything will fall into place. Our families…our friends…our future. We’ll be closer soon…it will happen. Either nandyan ako or nandito ka. Kahit saan ka, nandun ako sa tabi mo.  People say that you’ll know deep down in your heart when you’ve found the one you want to spend forever with…& alam mo, ikaw yun. You’re the girl for me…ikaw ang “the one”.  Like the way you do for me, I fall more & more in love with you each day. We’ll wait for each other. We won’t give up. It will happen for sure. Malafet na. I’m holding on to you & never letting you go… And when that day is finally here soon, you’ll be in my arms forever. We’ll hold each other & never let go :) Then all we’ll have left to conquer is the rest of our lives together :) I love you kabet. I love you so much. I will always love you & will never get tired of loving you. J&K Loveteam Forever :)

reflection-paper:

Dear Kiko…
Buong buhay ko, ako ang nagku-kwento.. Ako yung madaldal. Ako ‘yung bumibida dahil sa mga patawa ko.. dahil sa mga joke ko.. Pero parang sa ating dalawa, ikaw ang mas madaldal.  Taob ako sa’yo Boyfrun! AHAHA
I just witnessed how hyperactive my boyfriend is. Akalain mo ‘yun? Nakahanap ako ng katapat ko. I love listening to your stories. Basta tumatawag ka, naeexcite akong marinig ‘yung boses mo… yung tawa mo… yung kwento mo.. masaya akong nakikinig sa lahat ng sinasabi mo. Masaya kong iniimagine yung pagkunot ng noo mo sa bawat “English” kong mas slang pa kesa sa English mo. LOL medyo hindi malinaw yung linya kasi nga naman, milya milya ang layo mo sa akin pero iniintindi ko… Minsan nga, hindi na ako gumagalaw para lang makapagconcentrate ako sa sinasabi mo… Nakataas din paa ko. Ganun kasi ako pag kinikilig, nakataas ‘yung paa. Pramiz. ahahaha
Basta umaga, pagkagising ko… nakatulala ako.. yakap si Panda.. tapos ikaw agad naiisip ko. Kung ano na namang kadaldalan ang mababasa ko sa Email ko… Tapos napapangiti ako. Napapangiti na parang sira.. pero okay lang. Wala namang nakakakita sa akin. :)
Ang saya saya ko, kung alam mo lang. Ikaw yung taong gusto kong hawakan… alagaan.. mahalin at yakapin. Akin ka kasi. Akin. Ramdam na ramdam ko ‘yun.. Minsan, alam kong iniisip mo na mas mahal mo ako kesa sa mas mahal kita.. Wag. Wag naman… Mahal na mahal kita… It’s growing, really.. everyday. And I want you to know that I love you… I love you more each day.
I love watching you smile… yung pagkunot ng noo mo… yung mata mong napakaganda… yung pagtawa mo… yung pagkagat mo ng labi… tapos iniisip ko, “Siya na nga…” ‘yung taong nakikita kong kasama ko pagtanda… ‘yung taong pagbibigyan ko ng lahat. ‘Yung taong makakasama ko sa pagkain, sa pagtakbo.. sa paglalakad… yung taong gusto ko. Siya na… Siya na rin ‘yung taong kailangan ko.
Yes. I also made a choice. I choose you more than anything or anyone. Dati, wala akong pinanghahawakan. Wala akong inspiration.. wala akong rason.. but now that you are here and you are mine, sa’yo na ako humuhugot ng lakas.. ng inspiration to go on with my life… to smile truly… to love.. And I want our plans to happen. Yes, I really do. I can see myself marrying you… I can see myself living with you and taking good care of you and our children.
It’s been… 5 days. LOL. Parang ang tagal na no? Parang ang tagal na nating magkausap… tapos pakiramdam ko parang ang lapit mo lang sa akin.
Bitbit kita.. lagi.. basta iniisip kong malapit na kitang mahawakan… malapit na kitang mayakap… oh man, sana pwede na lang hilahin ang oras… sana pwede ka na lang sumama sa package na ipapadala mo… para mayakap na kita.
Mahal na mahal kita Kiko, higit pa sa inakala kong kaya kong magmahal. It feels good to freely say how I feel.
It feels good hearing you say that I’m the one you love… that I’m the girl of your dreams and that you love me unconditionally (even my toes LOL)… that you will never get tired of saying it.
Ako rin. Kahit paulit ulit kong sasabihin ‘yun, okay lang sa akin. At kahit paulit ulit mong sabihin yun, okay lang talaga sa akin. Hindi ko ‘yun pagsasawaang pakinggan… your words are music to my ears… like your voice… like your laughter.
Sometimes, I wonder how real everything is… But then, staring at your eyes, I know it’s true. I know I finally found the man of my days. And I will never let go…
You are the one for me and I am the one for you. I will wait for you… until you are near… until I can show you how much love I could give.
I love you so much Kiko.

 :))) kenekelegz to da musclez den da bonez lol :)))

The OR today was slightly busy. Not too crazy thank goodness, but busy enough. I assisted one of the RNs with a patient who was recovering from her surgery. As the RN returned to the station to give a report to the surgical floor, I was left with the patient, to disconnect from the heart monitor & prepare her for transport.

The following is the conversation shared between us. The patient was as elderly woman in her late 60’s.

Me :  Ok maam we’ll be taking you up your room soon.

Patient : Young man, I noticed you can’t stop smiling…& you’re the only one in this room with a huge smile. How do you keep that positive attitude?

Me : (laughing) Well maam I just love my job. At the same time, I’ve fallen in love.

Patient : Ahhh that explains it. I could tell you were in love from a mile away. Who’s the lucky girl?

Me : Her name is Jona. She’s my girlfriend. She’s far in the Philippines but we both really care for each other & love each other very much. And we promised to wait for each other no matter what…that way we can grow older together. I want to marry her & live my life with her when we’re finally both nearby. I really do love her so much maam.

Patient : Come here, (looks at nametag) Francis. Do you love her?

Me: Yeah I do.

Patient : How much?

Me : So much. I can’t even measure. I love her with all my heart.

Patient : And does she love you back?

Me : Yes she does.

Patient : Well then there you go…as long as you both love each other through thick & thin, whether you’re in the best of moods or not, whether you look your ugliest or your fanciest…as long as there’s true love for each other, that’s the bottom line. Distance is nothing. I haven’t heard a man talk about a woman he loves like you have. Man young couples these days just don’t know what it means to love. They cheat, they lie, they deceive…that’s not love. What you feel for this girl…that’s love. Don’t let that go. You two will be fine. If you know deep in you’re heart that’s the woman you’re gonna marry & devote your life to, then it’ll happen. Just don’t stop loving each other.

Me : I won’t. I promised her I wouldn’t…& so did she. I’ve never been in love…or this happy.

Patient : What you two have is something I wish many couples still did. True love. Don’t lose that. It’ll keep you guys closer than you think.

Me : Wow. Thank you maam for that. That really means alot.

Patient : Good luck with everything. I know you two will be alright. Just don’t stop loving each other.

Just hearing those words from my patient made me even more inspired. Love is something powerful & literally conquers all.

Jona, mahal na mahal kita. Habang buhay…magpakailanman…ikaw ang choice ko. Ikaw ang buhay ko. Ikaw ang lahat sa’kin.

Mamahalin kita kahit maputi na ang mga buhok natin. Pangako ko yan.

Excited ako sa future at mga future plans natin :)

I love you unconditionally from the bottom of my fuso :)

‘Til next time.

Deuces.

Just by hearing you say this to me Jona…mas malakas ang pagmamahal ko sayo…araw araw, gabi gabi…mamahalin kita habang buhay…aalagaan kita.

Pangako.

reflection-paper:

I made this blog (reflection-paper) not to please everyone but for me to have something to keep for myself. As much as possible, I didn’t want close friends or even my family read anything I put in here because they might not understand. It’s the exact opposite of the “Jona” they are used to live…

I love you with all my heart Jona. My love for you is immeasurable. Habang buhay. Ikaw ang lahat sa’kin. Thank you for showing me how much you love me & will continue to love me…unconditionally & truly.

Hay naku…sarap ang feeling…mas masaya ang buhay pag kasama kita. Excited ako sa mahabang kwento natin…sa future natin :)

‘Til next time.

Deuces.

Iniisip ko siya. Naalala ko ang boses nya…kung paano sya tumawa. Pakiramdam ko ngayon…thankful. Thankful kay Bro dahil binigay sya sa’kin isang napakaespesyal na tao…isang napakagandang babae para sa’kin…isang babaeng totoo…totoo ang lahat sa kanya. Humor nya, puso nya, pagmamamahl nya sa’kin…kumpleto na ako.

Palagi sya nasa isip ko & napakasaya ako kasi kami na…nararamdaman kami. Alam na namin…totoo na to. Itong feeling sa isa’t isa. Araw araw, gabi gabi…kapag kasama kami kahit sa chat, email, webcam, telepono…mas lalo kami mainlab. Kahit alam nya na korni ako, nerdish ako…mahal pa rin nya ako. Mahal nya ang boses ko, kung paano ko tumawa (purong hangin lang haha). Simpleng lalaki ako…di naman mayaman, di mukhang piolo pascual o jericho…pero kahit na…kahit pa…mahal na mahal pa rin nya ako…nakakatouch. Napakaswerte ako sa kanya. Dahil nobya ko sya…ako ang nobyo nya. Pinangako ko sa kanya na gagawin ko ang lahat para magiging masaya sya & para magkatabi na tayo…magpakailan pa man. It will happen. Alam ko yun. Finally. Alagaan ko sya. Gusto ko sya kasama hanggang matanda na kami. Hanggang maputi na ang buhok namin. Sya na nga. Sya talaga. Totoo sya & alam nya na totoo rin ako….ang pagmamamal ko sa kanya. Unconditional talaga kami sa isa’t isa.

May kwento na kami. Excited ako. Magiging mahaba ang kwento namin. Basta kasama ko sya habang buhay…sya lang…kumpleto na ako. Sya ang lahat sa’kin. Mahal na mahal ko sya.

Sa kanya na ang buong sarili ko…mata ko, ngiti ko, puso ko.

First time ako naging truly MAINLAB. Ever. Same with her. Gusto ko kasama kya hanggang matanda kami. Habang buhay. Masaya ako talaga kasi ganun din ang feeling nya sa’kin.

Pasensya na sa mga followers ko…alam ko lately di naman medical ang blog ko. Purong pagmamahal. Pero iba ang feeling ko lately…napakasaya ako sa kanya & gusto ko isigaw sa buong mundo na mahal na mahal ko sya.

Hanggang mamaya jona…aking beautiful na gurlpren, baket, kabet, & iisang tunay na pagmamahal. Kumakanta ako ngayon mga kanta natin :)

‘Til next time.

Deuces.

Sa lahat na nangyari sa buhay mo,

Gusto ko lang sabihin ngayon, iyong iyo talaga ako.

You’ve come into my life & made me complete,

I love everything about you, from your head to your feet :)

Right now I feel like I’m the luckiest guy,

To have you as my girl, I’m flying so high.

Yes, for now, we may be miles apart,

But you know we’re always together, & you’ll always have my heart.

You bring out these emotions in me I’ve never felt before,

It’s more than just happiness…it’s my unconditional love for you & so much more.

The day you changed my life & that I will always remember

is that beautiful Sunday morning on the fifth of December.

Distance is something that does not measure our love,

What we have is a gift given from God up above.

I thank Him every morning & every night for giving you to me

Because now I know how to love & I’m the man I’ve wanted to be.

You inspire & motivate me more & more each day,

I love how we’re growing, in a healthy & amazing way.

I made you a promise on the day our dreams came true

That I would never leave your side & that I’ll take good care of you.

I want us to grow old, to see our lives & the world together

no matter what it takes, no matter how terrible the weather.

Because we will, one day soon, finally be near.

And once that all happens, I’ll whisper in your ear.

I will be the one who holds on to you so tight,

to wake up with everyday, to lay down with every night.

I will be the one who will be a witness to your life,

As long as we’re together, there will be no more strife.

No matter the condition, I’ll never stop loving you,

You mean everything to me, & I’m glad you love me too.

From the day you said “yes”, I made you this vow,

To take away any unhappiness…to make you happy now.

We’re miles apart & on different sides of the earth FOR NOW, that’s true.

But I know we’ll be together soon, I know I’ll come to you.

So, my beautiful, my kabet, you’re an amazing gift & I’m glad to call you mine,

You make me a better person, you make my heart shine.

I look forward to our lives together & the story that we write,

Growing older as the years go by, needing only you in my sight.

No matter how far or close we are, & wherever we may go,

Tandaan mo to palagi…iyong iyo talaga ako.

I love you.

‘Til next time.

Deuces.

“Merry Christmas Darling” by Karen Carpenter.

Maligayang Pasko Jona…para sayo to :) Ikaw ang regalo ko. 

It’s our first Christmas together beautiful :) 

‘Til next time.

Deuces.

The day my life changed for the better. The day my life gained new meaning. The day my dream came true :)

‘Til next time.

Deuces.

“The Man I’ve Always Wanted to Be” by Kiko.

You make me the man I’ve always wanted to be.

The man who can smile unconditionally.

The man who can reach out & know you’re there, even when you’re far.

The man who knows that everything will just get sweeter once he’s there with you.

The man who has given you his heart, & has received yours in return.

The man who’s days have gotten even brighter because of you.

The man who’s life has become more colorful & meaningful because of you.

The man who isn’t afraid to love.

The man who can finally say…that he has found the woman of his dreams…

…the woman who makes him complete…

…the woman he has been looking for his entire life…

…the woman who brings out the very best in him…

…the woman who he’s holding on to tight & will never let go.

Yes, because of you, I am now the man I’ve always wanted to be…

…with you by my side & in my heart. 

Awawitek pinirmi ni napintas kanyak uray dinno ak mapan :)))

‘Til next time.

Deuces.

“Distant Love” by Unknown.

“Don’t let the miles between us
Keep our love apart
Just listen close and you will hear
The beating of my heart

No distance, will ever keep
My heart from loving you
There are no more tears for it to weep
For a love that runs so true

I’ll be there with you one day soon
To love you everyday
And then my heart will sing a tune
And you will hear it say

I’ve finally found my one true love
As true as one can be
And now you’re all I’m thinking of
Forever stay with me”

‘Til next time.

Deuces.

As I sit here on my 2nd meal break (I’m pulling a double shift at the hospital tonight), I think about all the amazing things that have been going on lately in my life. The reason why my heart beats faster. The reason why my days are sweeter. The reason why my nights are calmer. Everything. It’s because of her :)

We’ve both expressed our feelings to each other openly, & I love how we both agree: NEVER have we been this elated in our entire lives :) I sit here in the breakroom & asked advice from 2 of my closest coworkers.

These people are Ate Kristina & Kuya Ben. They’re both RN’s & they work in the OR with me. During lunch, we ate palabok & lumpia that Ate Kristina cooked & I asked them about their relationship. How they’ve made it possible. You see, the reason why I asked them, is because they started off in a long distance relationship. He was in New York back in the day while she was still in the Philippines, in Davao. They met on a dating website in 2000. They got to know each other, spend time with one another, & used every method possible: chatting, emailing, webcam’ing, phonecalls. Everything. They eventually got to know one another on a much deeper level. They realized they were for each other. They dated for a year and a half until he finally was able to go to the Philippines & meet her. When he got there, he it was as if he never left her side. Like they were never far. They continued dating until 2002, when he went back to Davao & proposed to her. He brought her back to the states & they’ve been inseparable ever since. They now have a little girl named Gabriella :)

Their story inspired me because nakakarelate. When I asked Ate Kristina what the secret was to keep it strong, she said that no matter how far two people may be, as long as their feelings for one another are genuine & they continue to show one another that they are acknowledging each others’ existence in their lives, that’s the secret to keeping it strong. Distance may be what separates them physically, but emotionally, they’re right there with each other.

Their story started at a distance but continues stronger than ever side by side. They taught me that nothing is impossible with the people you truly care for.

Two people may be close to each other in distance, but if the feeling is not genuine & their acknowledgement for one another is non-existent, it’s as if they’re thousands of miles apart. But if two people are far away in distance but keep their hearts close to each other & the feeling is genuine, they’re right there with each other, side by side.

Beautiful, I want us to create our story :)…to continue to add chapters each & every night we spend time with each other, keeping everything growing. Knowing more & more of your family & your friends, as well as mine. Slowly but surely…no rush, no pressure…just us growing & creating a story that we can write about that will be long & happy :) I’m proudly staying optimistic about us. So that one day when the time is right, we’ll finally be side by side, growing older with each other. I want you to know that I hold on to you every second of everyday, & that you’re never far from me :)

“Hindi tayo tao hindi rin tayo hayop…bagay tayo, bagay talaga…pustiso ka ba kasi…you know I can’t smile without youuuuu” :)

‘Til next time.

Deuces.

Dear Girl,

Thank you for giving me the kind of care I’ve wanted (& prayed for) from someone my entire life.

Thank you for always being there for me, as I am always here for you.

Thank you for seeing in me what others haven’t…& for allowing me to show you how much I care for you.

Thank you for making my days brighter, my nights warmer, & my dreams happier.

Thank you for starting & ending my days with me…spending time with each other so you know someone is at your side.

Thank you for being my bangin, my unggoy, my pustiso, my kulangot (LOL), my apoy, my salbabida, my posporo…lahat…“kasi naman kasi…” Haha.

Thank you for showing me that I don’t always need to have a wall around myself & to NOT let negative words or painful words put me down.

Thank you for letting me be corny, cheesy, baduy…& you still end up smiling & happy. I want to make you happy & smile all the time. Sa’kin na ang beautiful smile mo lol. Sa’yo na ang mga mata ko :)

Thank you for letting me be the one who “makes you smile…whenever you’re sad…” because “all I wanna do, is grow old with you”.

Thank you for making my day, my week, my month…my entire YEAR…& being the best birthday gift & christmas gift I’ve always dreamed of.

Thank you for being YOU. For being so beautiful, inside & out.

I want you to know that I’m always here for you & that you can always trust me…always. No matter how far, you’re always close to me in my heart & I carry you with me anywhere & everywhere I go. You’re right here with me, by my side.

I want you to know that communicating with you as much as possible means so much to me, since communication is key. There are so many successes…and NOTHNG is impossible :)

You’ve impacted my life in such a positive way…& I can’t wait to GROW with you. For US to grow.

I pray for you & thank God for you more & more every single day.

You’re my inspiration, my motivation, my determination, my strength, my goal, my gift, my dream.

I want you to know that…to remember that :)

Thank YOU for everything…:)

Part 5.

In part 5 of my story, I want you to meet another member of my family. Meet Snookie, “Snooks” for short lol.

She’s a white cockatiel that was named by my sister Ac. She was given to us by my tito before he passed away last year from Stage 4 Colorectal Cancer (Rest in peace Tito Rogelio de Leon…we miss you). She’s an old bird, about 13 years old. But nonetheless, she’s a very lambing companion to have around the house.

She’s not very noisy, unless she’s really hungry or just wants someone to pet her. Even so, her chirps are soft & mild. She’s definitely one taba bird LOL. She’ll eat anything & everything.

Because of her age, she’s slightly arthritic lol. She kinda waddles when she walks, but she’s still an amazing climber, climbing up & down her cage as much as she can. She loves to sleep with her head under her wing, but sometimes, she sleeps with her head tilted forward. Sometimes when she’s in a deep sleep, she falls from her stoop & wakes herself up lol.

When she’s out of her cage & walks around, she loves climbing onto your head & sitting on your finger, relaxing. She loves when you pet her, so much so that she tilts her head, & closes her eyes LOL. I honestly think she’s an insomniac bird LMAO because she never sleeps in the evening. She’s always awake & eats past midnight, while sleeping throughout the daytime.

She’s a definitely a good girl. Lambing, quiet, & a nice little buddy to have with you at home.

End Part 5.

Looks forward to Part 6 :) Coming soon :)

‘Til next time.

Deuces.

December na.

It’s my favorite time of the year. The weather is cold, the holiday spirit is alive once again.

This year, everything feels a little more special than usual :)

I already have my gift…what I’ve wanted & prayed for my entire life :)

Happy Holidays everyone.

‘Til next time.

Deuces.